I know, I know… my faithful readers have been waiting half a year for me to write something, and now when I finally do — Halloween special? Dafuq? Well, I haven’t felt like writing for a long time, and I finally found some inspiration – in the strangest place. Enjoy!
Disclaimer – if you don’t know who Les Twins are, they are Larry and Laurent Bourgeois: the French hip hop duo who recently blew up the stage at JLo’s World of Dance competition. You know what – I don’t have time to explain. Just stop reading, go search for them on YouTube, and come back.
Now if you know ME at all, or follow me on Instagram, then you may have noticed that I’ve been mildly (totally) obsessed with Les Twins for the last few months. I’ve made lots of friends in #LesTwinsClique and this story is for them. It all started with this picture:
We started joking around about ‘what would happen if we kidnapped Laurent’? THIS is what would happen….
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?
Laurent woke up with a terrible headache. The room was dark, but he knew he wasn’t alone. He tried to lift his arm, only to realize that his arms were tied together in front of him.
“Hello? Who is there? Where am I?” His questions went unanswered, but he could hear breathing. Someone was close. The last thing he remembered was dancing on the sidewalk… and a girl asking for directions… What had happened to him?! All of a sudden, the lights in the room came on and he was temporarily blinded. As his eyes adjusted, he recognized the girl that asked for directions. He scurried back as she rushed him, but he had nowhere to go. Her face was only inches from his.
“Lau! You’re awake! I’m so glad. You had us worried there for a second. I was afraid that I used too much chloroform on you. Man, I would have been SO sad if I accidentally killed you! Oh – I’m Loni. It’s so good to see you again!” She smiled at him. Her eyes were big – too big, and too bright. She looked a little crazy.
“Yo, what the fuck is going on here? What have you done to me?! Where is Larry?!” he yelled at her.
“Larry is fine, don’t worry. He’s not here though. Just you. Just you. Only you. I love you so much.”
She reached out and ran her hand lightly down his arm, frowning when he flinched away from her. “You know, you should be nicer to me. I did save your life.” She stepped back and regarded him with an attitude. “We could have left you passed out on the side of the road, but I wouldn’t do that to you… because I love you. I’m your number one fan! Show some respect. Sheesh!” With that, she walked up a short set of stairs and closed the door, locking the deadbolt from the other side.
Great. He was trapped in some crazy woman’s basement. He had no idea where he was or what day it was. He felt in his pocket… no phone. How was he going to get out of this? Maybe he could reach Larry through their mental connection if he could just –
At that moment the door opened and another person came in. A different girl, bringing food and water. “H-h-hello. I’m Ka- wait no. No names. Just call me Hot Lips! It’s so wonderful to finally meet you! I brought you some dinner. Are you hungry? Can I get you anything?” Hot Lips placed the food on a nearby table and waited expectantly. She lowered her eyes and said to him “You know – whatever you want – you can have it. Just let me know.” She winked at him.
“How about my phone. Can I have my phone?” Laurent was really getting scared. How had these women managed to capture him? How many were there? He heard more footsteps beyond the door. Oh God. This was not going to go well.
“I’m afraid we had to take your phone. It kept ringing, and we wanted you to get some rest. You’ve been working so hard! And with your injury and surgery, we thought it would be good to let you sleep. And also… you were knocked out. Loni used too much chloroform, and couldn’t wake you up so she called me – and I fixed you right up! You’ll be fine, don’t worry.” She leaned down to hug him. Laurent could feel her — nuzzling his neck! His fear kicked up a notch. Exactly what were they planning to do with him? He was afraid he knew the answer.
“Hey, are you sniffing me? Stop it!” He tried to lean away from her but she held him in a tight embrace.
“No no no, Loni told me I could have 5 minutes with you. That’s what I paid for. I just want to hug you, and I really wanted to know what you smell like. I knew you would smell good. Thank you!” she said. As if he had had a choice! She kissed his cheek and ran up the stairs, taking the untouched plate of food with her. She knocked three times and Loni opened the door to let her out. Loni remained after Hot Lips had gone, watching Lau for a bit.
“So you are charging people to come in here and touch me?! What the hell is wrong with you? That is crazy. YOU are crazy! You have to let me go. I’m leaving NOW.” Laurent stood up and tried to run for the door, but as he reached it, it opened and a third person was there. This one was a guy. He put his shoulder into Lau’s stomach – “Oof!” – And picked him up in a fireman’s carry to throw him back on the couch cushions. He stared down at Laurent and cracked his neck left to right, bouncing on his toes.
“Hey man, I’m not gay…” Laurent swallowed convulsively and tried to back up to the other side of the couch.
“Bruh – what you think this is? I ain’t trying to GET with you. I’m here to BATTLE you!” The guy turned back to the stairs and retrieved a boom box from just outside the door. “I’m Joseph. And I want to prove to myself that I can go toe to toe with the best.” Joseph hit play on the stereo and started moving to the beat. “Trendsetter” started blaring into the room.
Laurent looked at the crazy man in disbelief. “Are you serious? You want to battle right now, while I’m tied up? I’m a fucking prisoner, and you want me to dance. This is so stupid. You could battle me at any time – just come to a workshop! You gonna lose, but you didn’t have to kidnap me! All of you are insane.” Lau leaned back into the couch with a disgusted look on his face.
“What’s the matter, you scared?” Joseph kept ticking and popping to the music.
Laurent stared at the crazy man. His blood began to boil. He could feel his Beast Mode wanting to explode but he couldn’t get lost in the music. He had to get out of that basement. “Okay motherfucker. You wanna battle? Let’s go. I battle you WITH my hands tied.” He began to glitch to the rhythm. Loni squealed in delight. Joseph tried to keep dancing but he lost his rhythm because he started to just stare open-mouthed as Laurent opened a can of whoop-ass on him. Spins, splits, twitches, kicks, death drops, tutting, everything. As the song started to die down, Joseph admitted defeat. Lau was still dancing around the basement.
“Man, you are really amazing! I’m so glad I –“
Laurent used both fists to knock Joseph’s head into the wall. As he crumpled to the floor, Lau jumped over him and made another dash for the door. “HELP! SOMEBODY HELP M–” he wasn’t able to finish the cry for help before he felt a cloth full of chloroform cover his face again. His last thought was “Larry help me” before everything went black.
Larry woke up with a splitting headache. He reached for a bottle of water and noticed that his arms felt heavy. It’s like they didn’t want to move. He shook it off and got up to check his phone. Hmm. No texts from Laurent. He usually had 5 messages by now. He sent one to Lau instead.
Bro – where you at? We have to be at the high school by 3:00. Don’t be late!
He knew that would piss Lau off. Lau was never late. Sure to get a response from that. He jumped into the shower to begin getting ready. When he returned – still no reply. Larry called Lau’s phone but went straight to voicemail. Now he was getting worried. He remembered the pain he had when he woke up. He called Roy.
“Hey Roy – is Lau with you?” Larry asked. “We got to do a charity event today.” He crossed his fingers that Roy would have good news.
“Nah, bro. I haven’t seen him since Saturday. I thought you was with him. Wait hang on.” Roy took a moment to talk to someone in the background. “Yo, John and Rod say they haven’t seen him either. John said last time he heard from Lau was Sunday afternoon. Lau said he was gonna make an IG story dancing in the street.”
“I never see no IG story like that. He hasn’t been on Instagram at all, I checked.” A small sliver of panic started to run down Larry’s spine. “I got to find him. I’ll call you back.” Larry checked all the social media one more time to make sure. Nothing from Laurent, for almost 2 days… Where was his twin?
Suddenly, a blazing pain ran through his skull. And he knew at once it was not his pain. It was Lau. He was in trouble. Larry laid down in the bed again to calm his mind, and focus. His brother was trying to reach him.
Larry help me…
Lau! Where are you my brother?!
I don’t know. Some girls have me trapped…in a dungeon. I feel sick.
Lau, you have to tell me where you are. I’ll come get you.
Use ‘Find my iPhone’. They have my phone upstairs. Hurry.
Larry stood up shakily and reached for his iPhone. He turned on the locator to find his brother. What?! His phone was in Philadelphia?! “Hang on Lau. I’m on my way!” He dressed quickly and ran down to his car, jumped in and sped away.
After reaching Larry, Laurent laid perfectly still. He cracked his eyes just a little bit to see who was in the room with him this time. Sitting on the floor across from him were two young women. One, he recognized as “Hot Lips” – another was new. He listened in on their conversation since they hadn’t noticed him yet.
“…So I think I should be the one to do it. I’m a nurse. He’s been here for almost two days.” Hot Lips snatched a small package back from the other girl.
“Oh no way! I paid Loni a lot of money for this chance. I don’t care if you’re a nurse. It’s just a sponge, anyway. I’ve got this.” The unknown girl pushed off from Hot Lips and crawled towards where Laurent was laying. He closed his eyes again. She tapped him on the forehead. “Wakey wakey, Lau!” Laurent opened his eyes slowly. “Hi! I’m Reine. I’ve been wanting to meet you forever! Who would have thought I’d have this chance!? I’m here to give you your sponge bath.” Reine gave him a sly smile and started reaching for his shirt.
Laurent moved to block her and realized his hands were no longer tied. He got one hand between him and Reine and held her at bay. “Look. There is no way – NO WAY – I am letting anyone give me a sponge bath. So you can just go get your money back from your crazy leader.” He pushed her a little farther away and tried to stand up, but didn’t get far. Although his hands were free, he’d been chained to the table. Shit. No running for the stairs anymore. “Tell that girl – Loni? – tell her to come here. I need to talk to her.” He sat back down and waited as Reine walked towards the door. At the last moment she turned back.
“Can I at least have a hug?” Her eyes began to fill with tears. Laurent sighed. He hated to see a woman cry. And if this one wasn’t the one who had kidnapped him, well, he supposed he could give her a hug.
“Okay – come get a hug.” He opened his arms and she ran into them, jumping up and wrapping her legs around his hips. He took a moment to steady himself before they both fell over. After 2-3 seconds he said “Okay that’s enough. Get down.” She immediately jumped down and giggled, then ran for the door. He hoped she would forget to lock it but, damn, he heard the deadbolt again. He got as close to the stairs as he could, so he could listen to what was going on out there…
“So how did we end up with a celebrity in the basement, Loni?” A new voice asked. “You know we’re all going to jail, right?” The voice was annoyed.
“Look, Joy, he was dancing on the side of the road when Fabrice and I drove by. We didn’t mean to do it! But we had made so many jokes about it on Instagram that I thought I would just scare him a little bit. I didn’t know he would pass out like that!” she explained. There was an awkward silence, and then she continued…
“So we were coming back from NY with this chloroform – don’t ask – and there he was on the side of the road! We passed him twice, and I thought: ‘what if I just wave it at him, to show him how easy it would be?’ He is too famous now to just be wandering around with no security. I just wanted to let him smell the chloroform, so he would get scared and get out of the street. But when I did, he passed out! I had to get Fabrice to help me get him in the car! We couldn’t leave him passed out on the sidewalk. What if someone had come and stabbed him or robbed him? So I brought him here. I saved his life!” she paused in her story. “But it was Fabrice who tied him up.” Loni tried to spread the fault out a little bit.
“Hey, why you gotta bring that up? I was just making sure he didn’t try to jump out of the car if he woke up.” Fabrice said. She gave Loni a dirty look.
“But why did you bring him to MY house?!” This was another new voice. It sounded kind of familiar… “My mom is going to KILL me! And this is WRONG!” The voice complained. He knew this girl. But from where?
“Haribo – quit complaining. What’s done is done. We will let him go soon. We just have to figure out how to get away clean.” This was Joy talking. “We have to convince him not to go to the police when we turn him loose.”
“But what if he won’t agree to keep quiet?” Haribo asked.
The room was silent. Then: “…We might have to kill him.” Joy said. The group erupted in a chorus of screams and arguments. Joy clapped her hands for silence. “Look, he’s no fool. If we lay out his options for him, I’m sure he will see that the best thing is to just pretend this never happened. AND stop dancing in the street.” Joy laughed.
“How can you laugh at a time like this?! We are supposed to be his FANS, not his ABUSERS! This is crazy. I’m going to go let him out.” Haribo started walking towards the basement, missing the look that passed between Joy and Fabrice.
Laurent jumped back on the couch as the basement door opened. He looked toward the door and recognized the girl standing there immediately. The name Haribo made sense now. She was going to help him! He turned his best puppy dog eyes on her, and began to pout with a face he knew would affect her. “Please let me out, baby girl. I’m supposed to go see some kids soon. Do you really want to rob them of that chance? How would you feel if Les Twins didn’t show up somewhere and you were waiting?” He blinked his eyes innocently at her.
“Oh Lau! I’m so sorry this happened to you! I’m going to let you go right now!” Haribo took a step down the stairs but then a look of shock came over her face as she was pushed from behind. She lost her balance and tumbled forward, bumping her head on the banister. She looked up at him from the floor, blood coming from a nasty gash over her eye. “Lau…transition…” she mumbled. And with that she passed out. Laurent looked toward the door to see a new face standing there. This girl looked just as crazy as that Loni girl. She was staring at Haribo’s lifeless body, with a look of aggravation on her face. Then she turned to look at him.
“I told her to just chill. We were going to let you out eventually. But now we have to deal with her. Fabrice! Come help me with this girl!” Joy yelled back into the other room. Another woman he’d never seen before – wait, she was in the car too – came and grabbed Haribo’s legs. Joy gripped her under the arms and they carried her back up the stairs. Soon Joy returned and closed the door. She walked toward the couch with a weird smile on her face and sat down next to Lau on the couch. He moved back.
“So… how ya doin’? You mad? Ha! Yeah, you’re probably pissed. I would be pissed too. But hey, what’s a little stalking and kidnapping between friends, right?” She laughed, and it had a creepy maniacal sound to it. This girl was definitely not right in the head. For the first time, Laurent thought he might not ever leave this basement.
“Um, can I use the bathroom?” He needed to pee for real, but maybe he could figure out how to escape while he was out of the basement.
Joy stared unsmiling at him for a long time – long enough to make him uncomfortable. “Sure,” she said. “The bathroom is upstairs. Let’s go.” She produced a key to the lock on his chains (aha!) and led him upstairs to a small bathroom nearby. As they approached the bathroom, he noticed several more women in the hallway, staring at him like he was from another planet. Joy opened the door to the bathroom and pushed him inside, closing the door. Laurent looked for a window but none were in the room. He went ahead and used the bathroom, glad for a moment of privacy and to relieve himself. As he finished and washed his hands, he turned to the door – and screamed in fright! There were 4 holes in the door, all with an eyeball in them, staring straight at him! He heard bits of conversation through the door:
I knew it!
See? Told ya! Circumcision is an American thing.
While they were busy discussing his junk, Lau jerked the door open, startling them. He pushed passed them and tried to run for an exit, but he didn’t know where he was going. He turned left at the first hallway and found himself in an open living room. Haribo was bound and gagged on the rug, her eyes pleading with him. Did she need help? Unfortunately, pausing to worry about her cost him his one shot, as the gang of women tackled him to the floor.
“You’ve got to stop running away, baby boy.” Joy said. “We’re not gonna hurt ya. Promise.” She patted his cheek, then grabbed his ankles and began dragging him back to the basement. Lau didn’t resist. He needed to calm down. Larry was coming. He just had to stay alive long enough to get rescued.
Larry pulled into an empty space at the end of the street and turned his car off. According to his phone, Lau was somewhere on this street. Maybe in the 3rd or 4th house. How to find him without being seen? He watched the block for a few minutes, thinking. As he sat there, he saw a woman come out of the 4th house. She got into an SUV out front and started driving away from him. He thought nothing of it except when she started moving, the phone started moving. She had Lau’s phone!! This girl must know where he was! Was he in the 4th house? Or was he in the SUV? Maybe they were taking him somewhere. Either way, he needed to know more about that SUV.
Larry started his car and followed it for a few blocks, until it stopped at a grocery store. The girl got out and went inside. Laurent was not with her. Larry got out of his car and investigated the SUV. His brother was not in there either. He felt a hand on his shoulder.
Larry turned around, immediately disabling the woman and putting her in a choke hold.
“Where is my brother, bitch?!” He knew she knew something. And she was going to tell him.
The girl gasped for air and he let up the pressure slightly. “He’s… he’s back at the house. I was coming to get some food for him. I wanted to call you, but his phone is locked and I can’t wake him up.” She looked scared and frazzled.
“If you can’t wake him up then why do you need to get food for him?” Larry was suspicious of everything she said. Plus he knew his twin had contacted him. “Who are you?” he asked.
“I’m Anai’ah. I just want to help. I can take you to where he is. I promise.” She patted his forearm where he still held her tightly. “Can you let me go? I’ll take you to the house. Right now.” Larry dropped her but held onto her wrist. She reached for the SUV handle and he stopped her.
“No – you come with me. I don’t trust you. You could try to drive somewhere else. I know where the house is now.” Larry dragged her back to his car, pushing her into the passenger seat. He took off for the neighborhood he’d just come from.
Once they drove off, a second woman came out from behind the grocery store and got into the driver’s seat of the SUV to follow them back to the house.
When Larry and Anai’ah reached the house, he got out first, dragging her with him across the front seat. He was not letting her out of his sight. As they approached the door, he looked for any sign of a threat. Nothing. “How many people are here?” Larry asked her.
“Nobody anymore. That’s why I left to get food. The rest of them were afraid that they would get in trouble so they just took off. I would have left too, but Laurent wouldn’t wake up. I didn’t want to leave him alone. What if he needs to go to the hospital?” Anai’ah turned frightened eyes on Larry. She looked innocent but he wasn’t buying it. He let her open the door, then he put her back into a sleeper hold until she passed out. He then went through the house, looking for any other people. He didn’t see anything. Maybe they did leave? He remembered Lau saying he was in a basement. He saw a door and tried it. Locked. This must be it. He freed the deadbolt and opened the door to the basement. He saw his twin across the room, who was looking at him with an expression of fear on his face.
“Larry! No!” Laurent yelled.
“Lau! I’m so glad I found you my brother!” Larry said. He ran to his brother.
“You have to go! Now!” said Laurent. He tried to push Larry back, but his brother gathered him up in a hug. At that moment, they both turned to the door as they heard a noise. The SUV driver – Lauren – smiled at them from the top of the stairs, closed the door and locked it.
“Great. Now they have us both.” Lau grumbled, looking disgusted.
“But I knocked out the girl who left the house. And nobody else was here.” Larry said, confused.
“TWO girls left the house. They set a trap for you. They knew when you got here. ‘Find my iPhone’ works both ways.” Lau sat back down on the couch. “Get comfortable. They are going to come in here and sniff you, and try to look at your junk when you use the bathroom.” Laurent rolled his eyes.
“But maybe together we can escape. There’s only the two girls left –“
“Oh no, there’s like eight girls out there. And they are crazy. Well, seven. I think they turned on one of their own. Remember the film student from Philly? She tried to let me go, but they stopped her.” Lau sighed. “And there was a guy here earlier who wanted to battle me, but he left when I kicked his ass.” he said.
“Are you okay, Lau?” Larry asked.
“Yes. They haven’t hurt me yet. But they are crazy, and they tackled me when I tried to escape. There is one who is charging money to the others to ‘play’ with me.” Lau said, making a face. “They are living out their little fantasies. And so far it’s been: sniffing me, battling me, trying to hug me, stupid shit that they could have done anyway, at any workshop. But I heard one say she would kill me if I thought to call the police, so –“
“So you’re going to behave yourself, right?” Joy said from the door. They didn’t hear her come in. She was standing there with Lauren and Anai’ah behind her. “Girls, for successfully catching Larry, you’ve got 10 minutes with them both. Have fun.” She stepped back as the women came hopping down the steps toward the twins.
“Hi!” the shorter one said. “I’m Lauren. I love you so much, Larry! We could be ‘Larry and Lauren’!!” She threw her arms around his waist and looked up at him with a big grin on her face. Larry tried to push her off but Laurent reached out a hand to stop him.
“Just let her do it. This whole thing is SO stupid.” Laurent said.
“Lau – you can make my dreams come true in 10 minutes, can’t you?” Anai’ah asked, a predatory smile on her face.
Laurent looked at her suspiciously. “I mean, what you asking? I told you already I am not taking my clothes off so…”
“No! I don’t want that. I just… Just sit on the couch with me?” She led Laurent back to the couch and sat him down in the middle. Then she picked his feet up and put them on the couch as well, pushing him into a prone position. Then she laid on the couch next to him. “I just want to cuddle.” She sighed.
Lau looked at Larry with an expression that said “See what I mean? Crazy.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly as Anai’ah snuggled into his chest. This was the worst day of his adult life. He was going to have to stop setting ‘thirst traps’ on Instagram. This was getting out of control, clearly.
Larry looked down at Lauren, who was still hugging him. She had her face pressed into his chest now. “Hey. Get off me. That’s long enough. You crazy.” He pulled her arms from around his waist – she tried to grab his butt along the way but he was too quick for her. “I’m not tied up like Lau, so guess what?!”
He swept out a leg, catching her in the calf and taking her down with a scream. He pulled her shirt over her head to disorient her and ran to his brother. Lau was ready, and jumped on top of Anai’ah, holding her down while Larry got his legs untied. But Lauren’s scream had alerted Joy and Loni. Both were at the door with a frying pan and a broom.
“Larry, I swear I will knock you out if you don’t stop acting up!” Joy threatened him with the pan. Loni used the tip of the broom to push him back down the stairs. Fabrice, Reine and Hot Lips all filed in after her, carrying more rope… and food.
Larry’s stomach started to rumble. “Aww, is Lar-bear hungry?” asked Loni. “If you behave, I will feed you myself.” She said. Larry gave her the finger. She frowned at him. Her left eye started to twitch. “You know, y’all are just so ungrateful…”
“Ungrateful?! You kidnapped us!” Larry yelled. “This is not right! Let us go!” He started trying to fight off the girls but they held him and tied his arms anyway. He looked to Laurent, who shrugged and mouthed the words “Where is Roy?” to him. Shit. He hoped Roy would miss them both when they didn’t show up for the charity event, which had already started. Unfortunately, he was usually an hour late so they probably didn’t even miss him yet. But Lau late too – and neither of them answering the phone? Surely Roy or John would come look for them.
“Okay, Loni – you keep a lookout for John or Rod or Roy. One of them is bound to be next, looking for them.” Joy said as she turned to Larry. “I’ll make you a deal. You stop acting up, and when your boys come get you, we will let you go. No harm, no foul.” She looked him in the eye, and he noticed that her eyes were unfocused and the pupils were dilated. They reminded him of every axe murderer he had ever seen in the movies. This girl was really crazy. He had to buy some time.
“Okay. What you want, B?” he asked.
Joy grabbed his bound hands and led him up the stairs and into another room. This appeared to be a child’s bedroom, as there was a twin bed in the room and posters on the wall. He eyed the bed dubiously. Joy closed the door and turned to face him, a grin on her face. “What?!” he asked. She said nothing. She walked over to the bed and sat on the edge, spreading her legs apart. She crooked a finger at him.
Rod, Roy and John pulled up to the spot where Laurent’s iPhone had last sent out a signal. Larry’s phone was nearby too. The block was dark, and nobody was around. Laurent had been missing for about 2 days and Larry for at least 10 hours. They had to find their boys and rescue them. They rolled up slow on the 4th house on the block.
“Yo, I bet this is it. There’s Larry’s car out front.” Rod said. He reached down and grabbed his piece from under the seat.
“So here’s the plan. We break in, put down anybody in our way, and get the fuck outta there. You feel me?” John said. He couldn’t believe that his friends were in trouble, and it had taken this long to find them. But they hadn’t thought of the iPhone trick for a long time.
Roy hopped out of the backseat, carrying a bat and a machete. “Let’s go!” he whispered as he ran in a crouch toward the door, Rod and John right behind him. As they approached the door, they noticed it was cracked. Rod smelled a set-up.
“On my count,” Rod said. “One, two, THREE!” he said. He pushed the door open with little resistance. He went in low and John came in behind him. Rod started searching the living room and kitchen, while John staked out the exit and Roy tried all the doors in the hallway.
“Yo! Over here!” Roy called out in hushed tones. He was standing at the entrance to the basement. Rod and Roy went down the steps while John stayed on lookout.
On the floor in a pile they saw Laurent asleep, with Loni, Reine, Hot Lips and Anai’ah draped all over him. Loni was spooned in on his left side, Reine on his right, with Hot Lips and Anai’ah each holding a leg like a stuffed animal.
“What the fuck is going on in here?” Roy whispered. All three of them looked at each other and shrugged. Rod tiptoed closer to Lau’s head, careful not to wake up the sleeping women. He thumped Lau on the forehead to wake him up.
“Wake up nigga. You need rescuing, or you need more time? What the fuck, yo?” Rod whispered.
“Thank God!” Lau whispered back. “Yo, these girls are crazy crazy crazy! They kidnap me off the street and start wanting to live out their fantasies with me. And this is it. They want to ‘cuddle’. I’ve been on this floor all night. Don’t wake them up. If they scream, the dangerous one will come back. She’s really nuts. And she has Larry! Find Larry!” Lau said. He used his chin to indicate the hallway beyond the door. “She took him out there somewhere, a few hours ago.” Lau put his head back down as Loni stirred, hoping he didn’t wake her. She rolled over and rubbed a hand across his chest, but she didn’t wake up. Rod’s shoulders started shaking in silent laughter. “It’s not funny, asshole. We are in trouble! Get my brother, then come back for me.” He said.
Roy was already in the hallway, opening other doors. He came to the bedroom and listened – he could hear voices on the other side. He opened it slowly. What he saw shocked him…
Larry was sitting on the floor, with one girl feeding him and another with both hands in his afro, massaging his scalp. Another had her head in his lap, and appeared to be interviewing him or something.
“Really, my nigga?! We been looking for you for hours, and you in here getting your hair did?” Roy regarded Larry with anger and impatience. “Get up, let’s get the fuck outta here.” he said.
Larry looked at them with a sheepish grin. “I’m sorry.” He said.
“You don’t look sorry.” John said.
Larry shrugged. “I’m not.” He stretched his back and stood up. He introduced his captors. “This is Joy,“ he indicated the girl who had been playing in his afro. She smiled and waved. “And this is Fabrice,” the next girl waved with the spoon she had been using to feed him. “And this one is Haribo.” Larry indicated the one taking notes. She waved. Roy noticed a bandage on her head but said nothing.
“They have been taking turns twisting my hair and taking it down. I can’t lie, it felt good.” Larry said laughingly. He turned back to Joy, who opened her arms for a hug. He hugged her and then said: “This was fun, but if I ever see any of you again, I’m going to call the police on you.”
“Nope,” Joy said. “We had a deal. No harm, no foul. I’ll be at your workshop in Atlanta, son! And have we really done anything other than make y’all be still and rest for a day? Tell me you didn’t need some downtime.” Joy winked at him.
“You are crazy. I think maybe you should get some help… but I appreciate the food!” Larry said. Roy popped him on the back of the head.
“What’s wrong with you – you got Stockholm Syndrome or something? These women are criminals.” Roy said. He was so angry with Larry for not taking this seriously. “If you don’t want to call the police, I will!” Roy huffed.
“Hang on there, sweet cheeks.” Fabrice said. “Lau and Larry promised they wouldn’t. And we haven’t done anything to him that you can prove. He drove here by himself. All they’ve done is eat our food and take a nap. What’s so wrong with that?” she asked innocently.
“I made enough food for you to take home, too.” Joy said. She smiled at him sweetly. “Can I pinch your cheeks?” She reached for him but he slapped her hands away.
“Hell no!” Roy said. He grabbed Larry by the arm and pulled him from the room. Back out in the hallway they found Rod and John standing near the front door, with a bag of what looked like leftovers. Laurent was standing there too, looking ready to go. At least one of them was thinking straight! Larry and Roy joined them at the door. The woman named Lauren pulled out a phone and snapped a couple of pictures of the group.
“No – no evidence. No pictures” Loni said. Lauren erased them with a pout.
Laurent regarded the group of women one more time before they left. All of them were just standing there smiling, like they didn’t just kidnap two grown men and hold them captive for two days. He would never forget this lesson. He vowed that from this moment on, he and Larry would have at least one bodyguard when they were alone.
And No. More. Thirst. Traps…
The next morning, on Instagram…
(Apparently, Laurent’s costume is “Thirst Trap King”…)